Simply Life

1. Turn signals will give away your next move. A  confident ARIZONA Driver
avoids using them.

2. Under no  circumstance should you maintain a safe distance between you
and the car in  front of you, because the space will be filled in by
somebody else, putting  you in an even more dangerous situation.

3. The faster you drive  through a red light, the less chance you have of
getting hit.

4.  WARNING! Never come to a complete stop at a stop sign. No one expects
it  and it will result in your being rear-ended.

5. Never get in the way of  an older car that needs extensive bodywork.
Especially with California, Nevada or  Arizona  plates. With no insurance,
the other operator probably has nothing to  lose.

6. Braking is to be done as hard and late as possible to ensure  that
your ABS kicks in, giving a vigorous, foot massage as the brake pedal!  
violently pulsates. For those of you without ABS, it's a chance  to
strengthen your leg muscles.

7. Never pass on the left when you  can pass on the right. It's a good
way to prepare other drivers entering  the highway.

8. Speed limits are arbitrary figures; given only as a  suggestion and
are not enforceable in ARIZONA during rush hour.

9  Just because you're in the left lane and have no room to speed up or
move  over doesn't mean that a California driver flashing his high  beams
behind you doesn't think he can go faster in your spot.

10  Always brake and rubberneck when you see an accident or even  someone
changing a tire. This is seen as a sign of respect for the  victim

11. Learn to swerve abruptly without signaling. ARIZONA is  the home of
high-speed slalom-driving thanks to the Department of  Transportation,
which puts construction in key locations to test drivers'  reflexes and
keep them alert.

12. It is tradition! in ARIZONA  to honk your horn at cars in front of you
that do not move three  milliseconds after the light turns green.

13. To avoid injury in the  event of a collision or rollover, it is
important to exit your vehicle thru  the windshield right away. Wearing
your seat belt will only impede your  hi-velocity escape from danger.

14. Remember that the goal of  every ARIZONA driver is to get ahead of the
pack by whatever means  necessary.

15. In ARIZONA, 'flipping the bird' is considered a polite  salute. This
gesture should always be returned.

Thank You,
The ARIZONA Motor Vehicles Commission  :0)